Life Coaching. Most Important Project – Your Life!

February 9, 2019

Life Coaching. Most Important Project – Your Life!

Most important project – Your Life! So let’s get started.

Let’s initiate your project. Tell Me About Yourself. That’s simple. Kit stared at me and started to baffle. Dean was unstoppable with his “I”, “Me” and “Myself” talk. Shag started talking about her parents and her family history. Kan confidently talked about his current role and his high position job. Marina started by apologising that she is a “nobody” and therefore did not have anything to say about herself.

So why this simple request is getting you worried, lost, over confident? Why not be just you and talk about you. So let’s go through the IPECC method.

The I – Initiation phase of life coaching will assist and support you to be authentic and confident and allow you to remove what is blocking you. Do you like TEA? Thoughts – Emotions – Actions. You act according to what you feel, and you feel according to what you think. Right?

Understanding how we think, feel and act will help us understand our behaviour.

Where do your thoughts come from? They come from your environment, experiences, biases, memories.

The P– Planning phase of life coaching allows you to express what you want in life, your objectives, your goals. The planning session allows you to share in a trusted environment where you feel you currently are at with your emotions and feelings. The coach is a great listener who makes it possible for you to draw out your key concerns. The planning phase provides you the opportunity to acquire clarity of what really matters and provides you better understanding of why you are who you are right now. What do you need to do to reach your goals and feel fulfilled in your life? We will work out together for you to take actions to reach your goals, feel fulfilled and be the person you want to be.

The E- Executing phase of life coaching is about YOU taking actions. Action your Actions. Do what is in your plan. Your coach is at your side to motivate you move your intentions into action and to keep your commitments.

The C- Controlling phase of life coaching is about controlling and monitoring your commitments towards your actions. Are you doing what is in your plan? Why Not? Revisit your plan. Do you know what to monitor and control?

C- Closing phase of the life coaching is your assessment of what went well for you, what did not work, who are you now. You have now completed the tasks/steps as per your plan. What lessons have you learned? Successful?

Repeat what worked for you. What did not work for you, then let’s work towards changing your beliefs and finding your blind spots.

What’s the next step. Life is about continuous improvement.

The IPECC method is an iterative approach within a supporting, trusting and caring environment. We start with an initial Tell Me About Yourself and start adding TEA where you discover new things about yourself, your environment, what has influenced you and moulded you to be the person you are. Planning through coaching questions reveal unknown, what the unconscious mind knew that your conscious mind did not. Aha!!! Aha moments come pouring, as more authenticity transpire in the sharing through the coaching sessions. You Are no longer alone to move your intentions to actions, you are now accountable to your coach and to yourself. You build your confidence and keep growing and improving, understanding things better. You start moving away from your stories you have been creating about people, events and the meaning you gave to those people and events. You have set yourself free from those limiting beliefs. The coaching sessions using IPECC approach have been an opportunity for Kit, Dean, Shag, Kan and Marina to rediscover themselves in a SAFE & TRUSTED environment and become the people they were meant to be.

A bit more about Kit, Dean, Shag, Kan and Marina.

Kit stared at me and started to baffle. Kit lacked confidence and was bullied in kindergarten and she had buried these traumatic experiences and had never shared this with anyone when growing up. Kit is now a wonderful kindergarten teacher herself and happily married with 2 beautiful twins.

Dean was unstoppable with his “I”, “Me” and “Myself” talk. Dean was a unique son. His parents and grandparents doted on him as he was also the only grandchild. Whatever he asked he would get. Life was all about him. He came for a coaching session as he was feeling very lonely, his friends moving away from him. Dean was not familiar with the word sharing. When we started our session, it was all about sharing, what he did or liked in his childhood and the coach would do the same. Dean suddenly was in the position of a listener and he enjoyed that. He learned about listening, giving, receiving, humility and he is now a wonderful Manager at his work where his employees know they can count on him.

Shag started talking about her parents and her family history. Shag came from a very wealthy family and did not do very well at school and had average results. She was raised in an environment where high education did not really matter for women. She was groomed to show who she was through her life style, the school she attended, what she wore and her friends. She was a very unhappy and lonely. Through the coaching sessions, she learned more about herself, about values and her interest in learning grew more and more and she is now attending university and enjoying her studies. It was long process where Shag had to learn to unlearn about the fake values and learn about the real ones.

Kan confidently talked about his current role and his high position job. Kan was a unique child with a very authoritarian father. Wherever his father went, he would be the only one talking and others would listen. Kan wanted to be like his father, where people would listen to him and only him. Through the coaching sessions, Kan realised that his father was a bully, where it started at home where no one could voice their opinion. Kan acknowledged that his own over-confidence was fear of not being the person that everyone would listen to wherever he went, and by acting over-confident, it would not leave room for others to usurp his right to be the one to be listened to. Kan is now an active member of 2 pro-bono organisations where he supported and motivated others to grow and learn to share and listen to others.

Marina started by apologising that she is a “nobody” and therefore did not have anything to say about herself. Marina came from a family of 5 sibling, 4 brothers and herself. Her 4 brothers all excel in sports and Marina loved studying. Both her parents had been high achievers in sports. The family conversations and focus as you would have guessed were only on her 4 brothers’ achievements. One day she came home and announced that she was awarded the best Student of the Year at her school. The family stopped talking, stared at her and all started about sports again and one of the brothers said, “How boring”. Marina buried her hurt so deep that only through the coaching questions, did she recall this major incident in her life, and she remembered telling herself, “I am so boring that no one ever takes notice of me”. Marina has reached out to her 4 brothers and organised a family party. She shared with them how she felt growing up, how hurt she had been and how much she loved them all and that is so sad that both parents have passed away and she did not have the chance to tell them how much she loved them too.