I was contacted by David, a young man of about 30 years old. Successful in his job, having a good social life and in a good relationship and still was not happy mainly due to his lack of confidence in expressing his feeling to others, whether at work or socially. He did not like being a pleaser and he was cautious about what he said as his biggest fear was to hurt people through his communication.
The objective of the coaching sessions was to empower David through effective communication and to build his self-esteem through self-awareness.
Our first meeting was about to get to know David on a deeper level and to know each other better which is key for the sharing sessions to build the trust and respect on both sides. David was using negative statements when talking about himself. Each time, I sought his permission to rephrase what he was telling me by using different wordings and soon he picked up the positive approach of talking about himself. He was still David, neither better or worse. What he got was that he could see opportunities for him to improve in areas to perform better.
In the following sessions, David got to communicate better, talk about himself in a more positive manner. Once David was able to see himself in a more positive light, he was able to better identify his 2 critical weaknesses, procrastination and lack of time management that were the source of his lack of confidence.
We had quite a few role plays where either of us was playing the good and villain and in both situations, David was to respond only with positive statements, avoiding the “I’m not good at, I can’t or “I’m wrong”.
After the very first session, David felt something within himself. He could not yet describe the feeling. The major shift for David being aware that he had made up stories about himself from his experiences in life. That was a huge change, he was finally being able to feel and see his own authenticity and to pick up when he was not being authentic and use the tools that we have gone through during our session.
How is David different after the coaching, he is able to express his own views and opinions using effective communication not to influence or negotiate but as a sharing tool with other human beings and enjoying people’s company and the richness of the sharing and having fun with what he says and what people say. He is engaged, respectful and being HIM.